Dorothy Gale was an Illegal Alien!!!!

If you have ever seen the movie The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, you'll remember the basic plot is that Dorothy Gale runs away from her Kansas farm home, looking for something better "Over the rainbow." What she finds is something different from her wildest dream. However, my basic gripe is that ....

DOROTHY GALE OF KANSAS WAS AN ILLEGAL ALIEN IN OZ!!!!!

Think about it - she entered Oz without papers, committed murder on her first day there, had no passport or visa, and basically ended up entering many lands within the Kingdom of Oz without documentation, yet with the aid and abetting of many people who smuggled her around and finally sneaked her out of the country to avoid prosecution!

Those little Munchkin police should have arrested her at once! What did they do instead? Why, of course, they found a way to pass this problem off to a higher source, namely the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz, who also proved nearly as incompetent as the Munchkins of rendering justice. His plan? Again, pushing the entire problem off on someone else, he procuring the most immediately available transportation to send her back to her native land of Kansas. And worse off, he gave awards to those very people who violated immigration laws by giving her aid and comfort!

However, as is usual with so many government sponsored plans, the transportation left Dorothy behind and she had to turn to mystical powers and ruby slippers to get home, which seemed to work, but left the world she lived in without color. Boo-hoo! That what happens when you let the government run anything, isn't it? They take all the color and fun out of it!

And of course Dorothy quickly learned the lesson most people do, that one should never stray from home and get to the tornado shelter at once when a twister rolls across the plains. She also learned that scarecrows and other odd creatures inhabit other worlds and that one should always be afraid of bad, green-colored witches, which of course will be hard advice to follow in a land where sepia is the only other color besides basic black, white and shades of grey.

And what did Toto learn?

1): Ditch Dorothy; she's bad luck.

2): And don't poop on the Yellow Brick Road.

Now if they had an organization like I.C.E. in Oz, or The Minutemen, of course, Dorothy would have been quickly discovered for who she really was and exported by some more convenient source other than hot air balloon; most likely horse-drawn carriage or equine bus lines, or perhaps by flying monkey express. Whatever. The process, unlike here in our world, would have had that little tart Dorothy crying to get back to Kansas without the interference of inept Munchkins or Wizards or Good Witches of the North and so forth. Cold, calculated, heartless deportation back to this Kansas place none of them had ever heard of.

Bu then there's that homicide charge. Just because the wicked witch was wicked, does that mean Dorothy should have been hailed as a hero, a vigilante of sorts? The Robin Hood of Kansas? Or, as would be more proper, should she have been immediately indicted on charges of murder by house, and then convicted and sent off to the Wonderful Jail of Oz? Me thinks that the latter would have been appropriate, don't you? After all, she had violated many laws, and on top of that without reason or cause killed a citizen of Oz. The withces' rights were clearly violated, and no one seemed to care!  Is this the way they do things in the Merry Old Land of Oz????

So here we have a tale of an illegal alien successfully infiltrating, murdering and then getting away with the crime. Is this the type of tale we should be reading to our children??? I mean come on! Get real!

Cheers! (Tongue Firmly implanted in Cheek)

Chef Jeff, The Wonder Wizard of Odds.